To Be In Your Arms Again
by personapeach
Summary: Waking up one morning in the arms of a certain fukutaichou, what will become of the new 3rd seat of the 3rd division? Was it only a one-night-stand, or will love bloom?
1. The Morning Thereafter

Hello! As you can see, I'm not really good at writing stories, but I just felt inspired for a moment, that I forced myself. I hope to see this series to the end...

This is a Kira Izuru love story where he gets paired up with my OC: Kuroyami Aya.

There are also other OCs present, but rest assured, they won't get in the way of Kira and my OC's love. After all, all of my OC has already someone to pair up (which I'm hoping to write a story too).

Please be kind to my first fanfic story, but constructive critism is good too. I really need a good smack in the brain to keep this story going.

So please, don't hesitate to tell me your thoughts, what you want to know, what you want to happen, wrong grammars & spellings, and tips to improve. ANYTHING!

Thank you, and enjoy reading the first chapter of my story!

* * *

><p><strong><span>CH 1: The Morning Thereafter<span>**

I woke up with a headache. With my eyes still closed, the first thing I did was smell the surroundings, and began to panic. _This isn't my room – it smelled different, smelled manly. _I tried to move sideways, but a warm breath tickling my neck stopped me. There was somebody here besides me. It was then that I felt a warm hand wrap around my waist tighter. It was then that I decided to open my eyes.

BIG MISTAKE!

I came face-to-face with a certain blond fukutaichou, and not just any fukutaichou, but my new fukutaichou, Kira Izuru. And then, memories of last night flooded my mind…

Promotion to 3rd seat…

Celebration…

Sake…

Drunk…

Dizzy…

Help…

Kira Izuru…

As realization hit me, I panicked. Well, who wouldn't when you have just slept with your new fukutaichou that you've just met last night! What a way to start my career in Gotei 13!

Lost in thought, I felt the body next to me stir. When his eyes opened, it met mine. To my confusion, I felt my heart skip a beat and we shared an awkward silence.

"Ehrr… Good morning, Kira-fukutaichou." I suddenly spoke up first, remembering that he is my superior.

"Good morning, Kuroyami-san" he replied still half-asleep.

There were moments of silence, again.

"…I should get up." I blushed as I tried to sit up but realized that his hand is still resting in my waist.

"Ahh! Oh, yeah. Sure." It took moments for him to realize and quickly let go.

I stood up with the blanket covering me and searched for my clothes. When I found them, I scanned the room for a place to get dressed.

"You can use the bathroom." Kira-fukutaichou suddenly spoke up and I wonder how long has he been watching me. I thanked him and trudged to the door where he pointed and found myself in a small bathroom. I took a quick shower, wondering if he would mind me using it.

When I was done, I saw that Kira-fukutaichou was already dressed and two plates were served in a small table in his room. He motioned me to sit in the adjacent chair where he was already seated.

"Thank you again, Kira-fukutaichou." I bowed slightly as I took my seat, feeling embarrassed.

"No problem." He replied back as we ate in silence.

"Listen, can we… You know… Forget what happened last night? For both our sakes? You do realize that it was due to our drunken state that _that _happened. I don't want us to be awkward around each other especially since we'll be working together from now on." He softly said not looking at me.

With that said, I suddenly stopped eating and looked at him with a surprised face. I never thought that Kira-fukutaichou would be the one to say that. But when he did, I don't know why but my heart hurt at his words. Sure, he wanted to pretend that nothing happened. It's not like he has feelings for me either. It was just drunken sex, that's all. Strangely, I felt tears well up in my eyes.

Fighting the urge, I forced myself to smile and managed to say, " Yes, of course, Kira-fukutaichou. I totally understand…" _Not._ But I didn't dare say that. For a moment, I detect a strange look in his eyes for a second, and then it was gone, like our conversation and what happened last night never happened. "Thank you, Kuroyami-san." He spoke in his normal monotonous voice.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	2. Best Friend

Hello! I'm sorry if chapter 1 was kind of crappy... I really did try my best, but i'm not good with beginnings... Well, anyway, I promise that this will (hopefully) be better! Ha ha..

Please tell me what you think! Thank you! :)

* * *

><p><span>Ch 2:Best Friend<span>

"Okay, tell me what happened! You look like a mess, Aya!" my best friend, Honjou Reina, asked me in her ever-curious voice. She just loves gossip, I guess.

"It's just like I said! I… slept… with… you know!" I said for the _n_th time since we met each other after I left Kira-fukutaichou's room.

"Slept with whom? Come on, tell me!" she asked with a teasing voice.

"Oh, shut up already!" I looked away, feeling embarrassed as Reina laughed.

"Wow, I really can't believe it. You, the very shy anti-social girl who practically has no other friend except me, actually did _it _with a man and before me, too. I mean, you have got to be totally drunk like that because people don't normally screw each other the first time they meet." she wondered aloud… a little too loud that I saw some heads look in our way. I looked around, hoping nobody that we know heard us since we were in a ramen shop relaxing after a day's work.

This has been part of our daily routine. After a day of work, we usually meet up outside the gate and go for something to eat, go shopping or just walk around Seiretei.

"Shhh! Quiet! Somebody might hear us, Reina!" I blushed and shushed her.

"Don't worry, Aya. You know, when a guy does something like that, it usually means that he's just awkward about confessing his feelings. I definitely saw the way that he looked at you at the party." She winked.

"What do you mean, Reina?" I pressed further.

"Well, you know…" she replied, not answering my question.

I gave her a look, and suddenly, she grinned.

"Hmmm… Why don't you ask Kira-fukutaichou yourself?" she told me.

"What do you -"

"Hey Reina-san, Kuroyami-san." A familiar voice greeted us. Speak of the devil! We turned to see both Kira-fukutaichou and Hisagi-fukutaichou standing outside the shop.

"Fancy meeting you here, Hisagi-fukutaichou, Kira-fukutaichou." Reina, said in her not-so-surprised voice while managing to act surprised. I rolled my eyes and focused my attention Kira-fukutaichou. Our eyes met for a second which caused my heart to skip a beat (strangely again) before I hastily turned away and focused on eating ramen.

Not before long, Reina is happily chatting with both vice-captains, a feat which she easily did. As I watch them talk and laugh, I felt a pang of pain. Why I can't be like her? Why can't_ I_ say anything? Deep in my heart, I knew that I was jealous of Reina, I always was. She can do everything I can't, like make friends easily, speak her mind, and even having good sword skills. Everybody loves her while they barely notice me, and if they do, it's always as _Reina_'s best friend, _her_ best friend, always in _her_ shadow. Do they only see me as that? I really wonder if there are people who see me _as me_, as Kuroyami Aya, and not just as Reina's best friend.

Without knowing, a tear slid down my cheek. I quickly turned away to wipe the tear, but I guess they already saw because they suddenly become quiet.

"Aya, are you okay?" Reina asked worriedly.

"**Im… fine." I lied **as tears threatened to fall down again.

"Come on, let's go home. You're not fine at all. Are you sick? Do you want to drop by the 4th division? I'll accompany -"

"Don't! I'm fine, okay! Just drop it! I'm not a little girl anymore, Reina! I can go home by myself, earn friends by myself and have a boyfriend by myself! I don't need you to constantly look out for me 'because it's not your life, its mine! Don't pretend to be so worried… I know you're only forcing yourself…You don't know even how I feel about any of this! You never know because you're not me! You're THE Honjou Reina… Beautiful, smart and skilled! Everybody loves you! You don't know how it feels to be ignored, bullied, and constantly being compared. You don't know… You don't… and you never will… so leave me alone!"

With that said, I turned and walked away, never looking back.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	3. Friends

Hello again! I actually finished 3 chapters today... So why wait for a few days to update?

Well, anyway... What do you think so far?

Do you think that Aya is a bit too much of a crybaby?

* * *

><p><span>Ch 3: Friends<span>

The days went by uneventful. I haven't seen or spoke to Reina after my outburst and Kira-fukutaichou acted like nothing happened _that_ day. Our interactions are always at a minimum. We would only speak to each other if it was concerning work. There was also no mention of _that_ night. I wonder what would happen. Usually, I would confide in Reina about love problems, but since we're not in good terms… Wait, did I just say _love_ problems? Me? Having love problems? Well, this is a first, and I could honestly say that it's not really going well, or there's nothing at all. After all that happened in those past few days, it really hit me hard and it's the first time that I felt really alone. I noticed that it's affecting my work too.

Sighing at the papers that fell on the floor after I stacked them up on the desk, I picked them up slowly until a hand stretched out to help me with the papers.

"Thank you, fukutaichou." I said as I rearrange the papers back.

When I was about to leave, he said, "…Are you okay, Kuroyami-san?"

His voice was barely audible, but I definitely heard it and stopped my tracks.

"What do you mean, fukutaichou?"

"You know what I mean, Kuroyami-san. Please, I've already seen that it has affected you greatly, and so, as your… superior, it is my job to ascertain my subordinates' problems. "There was hesitation in his voice.

"… I see. Then, what do you want me to do?" I asked him coldly, finally facing him.

"I just want to talk with you. Come with me." To my surprise, he held my hand and he shunpo-ed us to another location.

"Wow…" I let out a gasp. The place he took me was simple yet beautiful. There was a small koi pond and a big tree shading it. The cool breeze brushed against my skin and let my hair flutter about. He leaned against the tree and I took my place by sitting near the edge of the pond.

Still in awe, I heard Kira-fukutaichou chuckle, "Surprised? This place is still in the 3rd division, although it's hidden. But I still keep this well-maintained. I usually come here whenever I have problems, or if I wanted someplace quiet to meditate."

There was this awkward silence again as I was looking at the fishes, while Kira-fukutaichou was deep in thought and looked up at the sky.

Like last time, I broke the silence.

"I'm sorry." He seemed surprised by what I said.

"What for?" he asked.

"I seemed to bother you and I haven't really been at my best at work too. For that I'm sorry, and also for _that_ night." I lower my voice at the last part.

"…Do you regret it?"

"I don't know. But I do know that this is not what you wanted, since you wanted to forget about it." I replied bitterly.

"How -"

"AHH!" Suddenly, a fish jumped and splashed my clothes.

"Kuroyami-san! You're wet!" he looked at me with wide eyes.

There goes the serious atmosphere around us. I wonder what he was about to say… Oh never mind!

Just like that, I burst into laughter.

"Kuroyami-san?" Kira-fukutaichou looked confused.

"Ah, sorry, fukutaichou!" I said between laughs.

He looked amused by my fits of laughter and joined in as well.

After we have calmed down and my clothes had dried, I looked up at him and smiled.

"Thank you, fukutaichou. I was really feeling down, with all that happened. I think I really messed up. But still, you really helped me, even though it was just your job. I feel better now, I guess."

"…My job, huh? Kuroyami-san, what if I told you that it wasn't because of my job that I talked to you today? I guess, you could say that I am concerned about you… as a friend." He blushed.

"I… I'm really thankful to you, fukutaichou. You cheered me up when no one would, and you even took me to this place. I really feel… special. Ah, forget about it. It's jut that I'm really happy right now. Maybe, as friends, we could do something like this again?" I asked hopefully.

After a moment, he smiled. "Sure, that would be great. But on one condition, would you stop calling me 'fukutaichou'? I have a name, after all."

"I understand. So, Kira-san, is it?" I felt saying his name for the first time.

"Thank you, Aya-san. I think we should go home, it's getting dark." He smiled, and I felt my heart skip a beat as I heard him called my first name for the first time.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	4. 4th Division

Okay, promise, this is the last update... I'm kinda stuck with the next chapter, so I haven't thought of writing it yet...

So, what do you think of Aya and Kira's 'friendly' relationship? Are things happening to fast?

Please tell me your thoughts! Thank youu! :)

* * *

><p><span>Ch 4: 4th division<span>

Surprisingly, all the tension between me and Kira-san was gone by the next day. We would greet each other every time, and help each other with the papers. I have been happy all the time when I'm with him, and for some time, I forgot about what happened with me and Reina.

One day, during practice matches, one of our men got injured when a kido spell hit him.

"Aya-san, could you take him to the 4th division?" He ordered as he inspected the wound on his chest.

"Alright, Kira-san." I say as I lifted the injured guy with one arm on my shoulder. I flash-stepped to the infirmary to get there quickly.

I soon found two women talking in the hallway.

"Excuse me, but one of our men is injured. Could you take a look at him please?"

Both of them looked at the guy, and soon, they stepped to work. One of them helped me carry him while the other led us to a room where she settled the injured guy.

"Should we call Unohana?" one of them asked the other.

"I think we should be able to heal it. It's just a minor cut." The other replied as she set into healing him.

After a few minutes, the guy seems to be in a stable condition and resting.

"Thank you so much for your help." I bowed at the two women.

"Not at all. It's our pleasure. By the way, I haven't seen you around here." One of them spoke up.

"Ah, could it be that you're the new 3rd seat of the 3rd squad?" the other one pointed at me as she realized.

"Yes. My name's Kuroyami Aya. Nice to meet you." I smiled at them.

"Ah, its good to be able to finally meet you, Aya-san. I'm Yamamoto Yukina, and here's my best friend, Amane Yuni. We're both the 3rd seat of the 4th division." Yukina-san took hold of my hand and shook them while Yuni-san smiled sweetly at me. _They seemed like good people, and on top of that, they're best friends… Best friends… _

Before I realized it, tears streamed down my face again as I remember what happened between me and Reina.

"A-are you alright, Aya-san?" Yuni-san led me to a chair. Without thinking, I hugged her and cried some more.

After what seemed like an eternity, my tears finally ran dry. Realizing I was still hugging Yuni-san, I let go of her, feeling embarrassed.

"S-sorry, Yuni-san." My voice sounded hoarse.

"It's alright. But what happened to you? If I may ask." She inquired as Yukina-san handed me a glass of water and tissue.

I hesitated for a moment before I finally spoke.

"It's just that… My best friend and I are not really on good terms right now. Seeing the two of you, I can't help but feel so… helpless. It was my all my fault. If I hadn't said those things."

Tears began to well up again, but I forced myself not to, not until I've told Yukina-san and Yuni-san everything. I mean, I felt that they are willing to at least listen to me. So, with a deep breath, I began to recall what happened years ago…

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	5. First Times

Okay, I know i'ts been too long.. What can I say? Busy, busy, busy! And remember, I'm more of a reader, not a writer.. So this story's just my sideline.. But I definitely won't abandon this one.. yet! Anyway, this chapter is a bit long (for me).. It contains a 1st person and 3rd person.. To explain, the 3rd person POV are flasbacks, and the 1st person POV are Aya storytelling in the present time. In the end of the chapter, I guess it was a wrong time to put a "to be continued" since there is no proper disclosure, but I'm running out of ideas.. Ha ha.. So, I guess her past is a cliche, but what can I say? Just read if you want, and don't read if you don't want.. So, sorry for those who waited, but here it is! Thank you! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Ch 5: First times<strong>

"Mama, look! New neighbors!" Little Aya excitedly jumped up and down, dragging her mother along.

"Yes, yes. Slow down, Aya. Let's go greet them." Her mother smiled and held her hand.

"What a coincidence! We have a daughter as the same age as you! Look, come out Reina!" A little girl, slightly taller than Aya, with long black hair and green eyes, peeked out behind her mother.

"H-hello." Aya timidly called.

"Hello. I'm Reina. How about you?"

"I'm Aya. Nice to meet you."

…

That was how Reina and I met. After that, our parents would occasionally invite Reina and her family out for dinner, or vice versa. Reina and I grew close, not only because our family was close, but also because we always play, just the two of us.

Then, when we were teenagers, we begin to discover love, hurt … and jealousy. It was the time when both of us seldom saw each other because we were busy. One time, when we did get together to eat out, we saw someone who would change our lives forever.

…

"Hey, Aya, isn't that guy so cool and handsome?" Reina pointed.

Aya stared at the guy.

"Oh, that? Isn't that Takato Hiro-kun? The guy living near the bar?" Reina continued.

Aya felt herself blush. _So his name's Takato Hiro._

"Aya? Are you alright? Why're you red?"

"Ahh! Nothing! Nothing!" Aya left her trance.

"I see. Love troubles?" Reina teased.

"Reina!" Aya became red and quickly walked away.

…

That was the first time I saw Hiro-kun. Although I thought I had no chance with him, Reina suddenly bought him with us the next time she and I went out again.

…

"Hiro-kun, this is Aya, my best friend." Reina introduced us.

"H-hello." Aya bowed, and felt herself blush.

"Nice to meet you. I've heard many things about you from Reina-chan." Hiro chuckled.

_Do they know each other before? Were they already that close? What is this feeling inside me that I find annoying?_

"Ah, I'd better run. I've got something to do. It was n-nice meeting you, Hiro-san. Sorry, Aya, next time again."

"Aya, wait!" Aya heard Reina shout, but she daren't look back and exposed her flushed face. Her heart was beating so fast that she swore that everyone can hear them.

…

That night when Reina and I were alone…

…

"Hey, why did you suddenly leave?" Reina asked.

"Well, I just couldn't help it! Takato-san was talking to me!" Aya panicked.

"Ha ha. Oh yeah, I invited him tomorrow for the fireworks festival."

"W-what? You invited him? Oh no! How am I going to face him?"

"I'll be okay. Just talk like you do! Anyway, I did it for you! Didn't you really like him?" Reina winked.

…

The next night was the fireworks festival. As expected, Hiro-kun was there. I saw how close they are with Reina, like they have forgotten that I was even there. I realized that as the night grew, Reina and Hiro were "hitting it off". That is to say that I was left out from their whispered conversations, laughs and secret smiles. It seemed to me that they were having lots of fun. By the last firework, both of them were gone, leaving me alone.

The next day was the aftermath of the firework incident…

…

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, Aya! I didn't mean for it to happen! It just kinda did!" Reina tried to explain what Aya saw last night when she was about to go home.

"Oh, there's no need to explain, Reina. I perfectly understood what you were about to do when I saw all those clothes lying around your room, and heard _those_ sounds. And here I thought something happened to you because you were gone. I shouldn't have been so worried." Aya spoke coldly, tears threatening her eyes.

"Aya! I'm so sorry! Really, I am! It's not my fault that he chose me, not you!" Reina blurted out before covering her mouth.

"… You know what, forget it. We're through. I thought you were better than that, Reina. I thought you were my best friend!" Aya quietly said through tears.

…

After that time, I swore to never fall in love again and avoided Reina like a plague. I wouldn't meet her eyes whenever we see each other. Unlike her, nobody would care if I feel sad because I am not Reina, the most beautiful, talented and skilled girl in the district who could have any boy she wants. To them, I was just her best friend, her sidekick, her PA; someone who would make her look better, because I couldn't compare to her, not a chance.

A few months passed as we continued on this charade until that fateful day. It was nearing winter and the first drops of snow fell.

That night, we invited the Honjou family out for a Christmas celebration. As usual, I ignored the guilty stares of Reina at me as we sat on the table.

…

"Aya dear, can you light up the Christmas lantern upstairs? Reina, can you come with her please?" Aya's mother said and smiled, oblivious to their discomfort at the thought.

Both girls silently made their way upstairs, slightly shivering due to the wind and snow, to light up the yearly lantern. The yearly lantern has been with them for almost thousands of years, and is now part of their tradition every Christmas time. Without a word, Aya lit it up using a match and together they went back downstairs. Unknown to them, the lantern began swinging wildly due to the strong wind at night. Suddenly, the old rope of the lantern finally gave in and snapped.

…

"Run!"

"But what about our parents, Reina!"

"…"

"Reina!"

"Just run! The fire is bad enough to get close too, and it's already spreading in the nearby houses!"

"Mother! Father!" Aya cried as her legs finally gave in and she fell to the cold ground.

After what seems like an eternity, Aya has suitably calmed down and looked up to see Reina waiting patiently for her.

"Are you done? Let's go before the fire spreads here too. This is no time for tears." Reina said quietly offering her hand to Aya.

At that moment, it didn't matter if they had a fight or refused to speak to each other. They just had to get out of there. They ran and ran until their legs become sore, never letting go of their hands; their little dispute, forgotten, for now… and finally they passed out.

When they came to, they were in a small elegant room.

"Nii-san, she's awake." A female voice spoke.

I looked out of the slightly ajar door and saw a small woman with short black hair.

"How are you feeling?"

"I think I'm better. Excuse me but where are we?"

"In the Kuchiki manor. I'm Kuchiki Rukia."

"I'm Kuroyami Aya and the one next to me is Honjou Reina. Thank you saving us."

"No, it was not me, it was my brother, Kuchiki Byakuya, who saved both of you." Rukia motioned at the door, and there was a man standing there.

"Ah, thank you Kuchiki-san!" Aya slightly bowed before turning red, realizing that she had just called them both Kuchiki-san.

"You can just call me Rukia, Aya-san." Rukia smiled.

"Thanks, Rukia-san." She returned her smile.

…

After that, both of us were taken care of the Kichikis until we got well. When we were well enough, we left, despite Rukia's attempts to let us stay. But we couldn't abuse their kindness. We had to find other means to survive. That means, being a shinigami.

Reina and I decided to train to become shinigamis. Later on, I was found by Komamura-san and trained under him for some time. Since Reina was always better than me, she easily got a seat under the 9th division only after a few months. As for me, I had to train hard, and finally, I became 3rd seat of the 3rd division a year after her.

As for my relationship with Reina, ever since she'd became a seated officer before me, she'd occasionally drop by the place where we lived and we would come out to eat just like old times. We left our dispute unspoken and unresolved and just acted like we never had a fight. As for where Takato-kun is, I haven't even asked her yet. After our constant talks, we acted like nothing wrong happened before. It was fine with me, at first, as I'd rather not talk about it… for now. She couldn't possibly imagine the emotional scar it had in me...

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	6. Thoughts

Hello, its been a while, and i mean, a very long while! Anyway, I'm to blame for this very long update and I cannot give any excuses either... I just write when I feel it... As I said, I'm a reader, not a writer but I actually spend time for this 'cause I can't back down on this fic either... So, enough rambling... Here it is! Sorry and thanks to whoever is reading this! :)

* * *

><p><strong>The story thus far:<strong> Kuroyami Aya had just became the 3rd seat of the 3rd division when she had a drunken one-night stand with her captain, Kira Izuru _(See ch 1)_. Old feelings emerged as she let loose her feelings at her best friend, Honjou Reina, a seated officer in the 9th division and the two had not been speaking since then _(See ch 2)_. However, her relationship with Kira-fukutaichou gradually improved as they decided to forget their one-night stand _(See ch 3)_. One day, one of the men in their division got injured and Aya was tasked to bring him to the 4th division where she met the two 3rd seats, Yamamoto Yukina and Amane Yuni where she broke down and tells her past _(See ch 4)_. Aya's relationship with Reina and the lingering feelings she had were revealed through the past _(See ch 5)_.

* * *

><p>Ch 6: Thoughts<p>

After I told them my story, all of us was silent. It was Yukina-san who spoke first.

"Aya-san, we had no idea… I mean, we're sorry that we made you recall those horrible memories."

Silence.

"Aya-san… Are you alright?" Yuni-san worriedly looked at me.

Silence. After what seems like an eternity, I spoke up for the first time after my storytelling.

"I'm sorry, Yukina-san, Yuni-san. I want to be alone for some time. But I thank you for tending our subordinate's injuries… and don't be sorry. It's not your fault." I softly spoke as I slowly moved out of the room without looking at them. I really want to be alone right now.

However, outside I bumped into someone I really don't want to see right now. Both of us stopped moving for a second. But I didn't want to confront her right now so I started to move away.

"A-Aya!" Reina called as I walked past her, hiding my face.

"Aya! Wait! We need to talk." I continued to move further. Suddenly, her hand grabbed my wrist. Annoyed, I slapped her hand away.

"What's with you? Leave me alone!" I yelled as my face flushed red.

"Aya, please! Just listen to me for a while."

"I don't want to hear it! I had enough! I hate you!" I looked at Reina and saw her shocked and hurt.

"…If you ever decided to hear me out, then please come see me. I'll be waiting for you, Aya." She lowered her voice and walked away, leaving me dumbstruck.

That day, I decided to return home without going to the squad barracks. I just want to lie down, curl myself in bed and forget the world.

I didn't realize that I fell asleep when I suddenly woke up and saw that it was already night. I heard the knock in my door again. I groggily sat up and went to the door to see my fukutaichou with a worried expression. His face visibly relaxed when he saw me.

"Aya-san, thank goodness. I was so worried when you didn't return. I mean, we were worried. Why didn't you come back?"

"Sorry, Kira-san. I'm sorry for neglecting my duties today. I promise that this will be the last time I'll do it." I slightly bowed to him.

"Aya-san, it's not that. I'm asking you if you're fine! Something happened in the 4th division, right? Come on, let's talk." He took my hand and I suddenly found myself in the same place where the koi pond was. He patted the grass next to him as we sat watching the fishes in the pond. There was that comfortable silence as he patiently waited for me to talk.

Sometimes, I don't get him. Why does he want to know? What exactly is our relationship? Is this just merely part of his work as a fukutaichou, or was he here to hear me out as a friend, or…something more? I don't know! I don't know…but my heart beats fast whenever I think about this thoughts about him. I…I want to know what he feels about me, about us. What…are we exactly?

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	7. Feelings

Hello, its been a while! Finally, I get some motivation.. I thank 1 reviewer for making me extra happy and giving me this motivation! Anyway, I don't know about this chapter, but I tried my best! So, here it is! *hides in a corner*

* * *

><p><span>Ch 7: Feelings<span>

Kira-san wanted me to talk. But what was I to say to him? Oh, where would I even begin?

"You could always start at the beginning, Aya-san." Kira-san broke my thoughts. Did I just say my thoughts out loud? How… embarrassing.

"Err, at the beginning… right." I look down at my lap and wonder if I should just tell him about my past. But do I trust my fukutaichou enough? Don't get me wrong, he's my friend and I'm gradually warming up to him. But do I trust him enough to handle all these emotional things? What if he's just toying with me? Making me talk just because it's his job to make sure that his subordinates are fine. What if he doesn't really care about me? What if..?

"I'm sorry, Aya-san. If you really don't want to talk about it, then it's fine. At least you're fine now, that's all that matters." He looked at my face and smiled slightly. I was beginning to feel guilty now. What if his intentions are sincere after all? Should I ask him about that question that's been bugging me all this time? Well, there's no time like the present. Time to take a risk…

"Kira-san, I do have a question." I spoke softly, still not looking at him.

"Yes?"

"I… We… Why… Why are you so concerned about me? Its not like I'm the only person in the squad who have problems? Is there any… reason why you're doing this?" I bite my lip, waiting for his reply. His silence was beginning to bug me, so before I could make a fool out of my self, I should apologize.

"Kira-san? Sorry for asking that stupid question. Its just that it's been bugging me for a while. I'm sorry. Just… nevermi-"

"I… don't know either why I'm so concerned about you, Aya-san. I also asked myself the same question. But nothing comes to mind, except that… *Sigh* maybe I'm beginning to want something more out of our friendship."

My eyes widen at that thought. He wants more of our friendship? I felt happy and hopeful at his words but what was I to say? That I wanted the same thing? I am even more confused than him. So we are friends, that's all… at least I think it is. But when he said that he wanted more, then what could be more than friendship? My heart skipped a beat at that realization.

"Kira-san… when you mean more… you mean…?"

"I guess I was thinking that I could hold you again. It was just my wishful thinking. What happened that fateful night, I couldn't get out of my mind. I know we agreed to forget what happened, but I guess I couldn't… I honestly don't know what I'm feeling right now. It's like my heart is aching for something. I've never felt something like this before." Kira-san buried his face in his hands. As for me, I was completely shocked. He wants to hold me again? I never thought that fukutaichou would feel that way, when all the while I was thinking that it was just me… I was an idiot, a complete idiot. And I was becoming more of an idiot for not saying anything when he expected me to answer him. After what seems to be an eternity of silence, I composed myself and managed to utter words.

"I… I don't know what to say, Kira-san. That feeling, I guess I was feeling it too. My heart beats faster when I'm with you and I blush a lot when I'm with you. I thought I was happy when we became friends and all that awkwardness faded away but… I want to feel it again. The feeling of being in your arms again." I muster up that extra courage and took his hands from his face and laced it with mine. For a second, he looked at me with wide eyes, then soften and for the first time, he gave me a smile, a real smile. I smiled back at him and we looked at each other knowing what would happen next.

"Aya…"

"Kira…"

And with that, our lips met.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>

undefined


	8. Love?

**The story thus far:** Kuroyami Aya had just became the 3rd seat of the 3rd division when she had a drunken one-night stand with her captain, Kira Izuru _(See ch 1)_. Old feelings emerged as she let loose her feelings at her best friend, Honjou Reina, a seated officer in the 9th division and the two had not been speaking since then _(See ch 2)_. However, her relationship with Kira-fukutaichou gradually improved as they decided to forget their one-night stand _(See ch 3)_. One day, one of the men in their division got injured and Aya was tasked to bring him to the 4th division where she met the two 3rd seats, Yamamoto Yukina and Amane Yuni where she broke down and tells her past _(See ch 4)_. Aya's relationship with Reina and the lingering feelings she had were revealed through the past _(See ch 5)_. After sharing her past, Aya accidentally bumped with Reina, but quickly left and went home. Kira visited Aya at night and Aya became confused by his actions (_See ch 6)_. Finally, Aya and Kira talked about their feelings and it ended with a kiss (_See ch 7_).

* * *

><p>Ch 8: Love?<p>

I woke up with a headache. With my eyes still closed, the first thing I did was smell the surroundings, and began to panic. _This isn't my room – it smelled different, smelled manly. _I tried to move sideways, but a warm breath tickling my neck stopped me. There was somebody here besides me. It was then that I felt a warm hand wrap around my waist tighter. It was then that I decided to open my eyes.

_Kira_.

I came face-to-face with the blond fukutaichou. And then, memories of last night flooded my mind…

Feelings…

Confession…

Kiss…

But is it love? I do not know yet for sure, but I can't deny my attraction to him any longer. After all that has happened, I did not think that I'd be back in his arms again.

"Good morning, Aya-san." His soft, sleepy voice called out to me.

"Ah, good morning to you too… Kira-san." I smiled at him, not sure about what to call him. Last night, I've got the courage to call him without the honorifics. But now, I really feel embarrassed. Not only because of the fact that we are both naked in his bed, in his house, in broad daylight, but because there was this look in his eyes. For a moment, I felt… love… But no, that would be thinking too much. Kira-san doesn't love me. He just wants a physical relationship due to the fact that we've slept together before. _Its not like he loves me_. I try to tell myself those thoughts.

"Are you alright, Aya-san?" Kira-san looked worried, so I decided to stop thinking for a while until I am alone. "I'm alright, Kira-san. But, uhmm… I think I'll be getting dressed. Its probably late in the morning, and everyone will notice that both the fukutaichou and 3rd seat is gone, and everyone will wonder where they are, and…" Ah! I stop myself before blabbering any more. I felt my face heat up. I must look like an idiot. Its not like its our first time doing it, but somehow this time I really felt tense and nervous. Thus, it seems that I can't stop spouting nonsense. However, to my relief, Kira-san chuckled and pointed to a small door in the room. "The bathroom is over there."

After cleaning up, we ate breakfast on a ramen store before going to the squad where, fortunately, nobody commented on why we were together, or why were we late. We just went on our paper duties without speaking a word to each other.

Later that day, Kira-san was suddenly visited by Hisagi-fukutaichou, but it was that strange look Hisagi-fukutaichou gave me that tells me that what he had about to say to Kira-san involves me. So without further ado, as to not get in their way, I quickly asked to be dismissed, saying that I have something important to do. Kira-san was surprised at first, but quickly dismissed me as he faced the waiting Hisagi-fukutaichou with a grim face.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	9. Conversation

**WARNING: **TWO OOC CANON CHARACTERS AHEAD? (Me thinks... )

* * *

><p><span>Ch 9: Conversation<span>

Behind closed doors, the two best friends, Kira and Shuuhei, talked about…

"Its rare of you to visit me during working time, Hisagi-san. May I ask what the matter is?"

"Its about your 3rd seat."

"What about Aya, Hisagi-san?"

"Well, my 3rd seat, Reina, remember her? Well, I heard she and Kuroyami-san got into a fight or something and lately Reina's been depressed. I just want to know what happened between them. Do you know anything?"

"I… I don't know. She got into a fight?"

"I guess its more like Kuroyami-san was angry with Reina and from what I've heard, the two of them used to be best friends."

"Really? I never knew… So, what can I do to help them?"

"Just ask her what her problem is. Reina told me that she already tried talking to Kuroyami-san, but it seems like she's the one avoiding her. I guess Reina got hurt by that and now, she's depressed she won't even talk to me about it anymore. I can't stand it."

"Hisagi-san, I have to ask… Is there something between you and Honjou-san?"

"…None, at the moment."

"Hisagi-san..?"

"_Sigh_. I guess I just want her to be herself again. I kinda miss her usual self, when she wasn't depressed, she would always smile, her face was always vibrant, she would get her work done and help me and the others, she would –"

"It seems that you fell for the girl, Hisagi-san."

"Heh… I guess I am. How about you, Kira? What is Kuroyami-san to you?"

"i… I don't know. But I do know that I am attracted to her in some way. What I want is something more than physical, but from the way Aya felt today, I feel like I was the only one hoping."

"Seems like love to me. Kira… You don't know that yet, do you? Have you tried telling her how you feel? That would help, a lot."

"My feelings? Would I be able to tell her?"

"If you can't tell her, then your relationship will never get anywhere. From what happened between you two, it looks more complex because you got the order wrong. Its supposed to be a confession first, then date, then sex. But for you guys, you've skipped ahead to the sex part. Sex without feelings is just… wrong."

"I know, Hisagi-san. Its not like I don't have feelings for her. The problem is that I don't know what feeling it is. I do care for her, but do I love her?"

"If you've asked yourself that, then it just means that you do love her. So, what's the problem? If two people love each other, then isn't it okay to confess your feelings to each other?"

"But… I don't know if she likes me back."

"Don't worry. She likes you, I can see. Besides, if the two of you have done it already, then there's nothing to hide, isn't it? All that matters is that you two love each other."

"…It really sounds so simple when you put it like that, Hisagi-san. Its almost like I believed it for a moment. But no, it isn't that simple. She wouldn't love someone like me."

"Are you sure?"

"I…"

"Alright! I think this is enough. I've said what I wanted to say. So, I've better get going and see her. I just hope that you would talk to her, sort out your feelings and hers, and also Reina's feelings… Because I don't what to see the person I love sad."

With that, Hisagi left the room, leaving Kira standing in the dark, lonely room.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	10. Friendship

Hello! I am really shocked that people are actually reading this, even though I must be the worst author here with her inconsistent updates and an outrageous story to top it off! Ha ha.. Anyway, thank you for those people who were patient and sorry for those who were not... So, finally, this once-in-a-lifetime spark of "imagination" led me to write this chapter.

Btw, for those who didn't understand the story in general, well, I have got to say that I seriously overlooked something in Ch. 2 that conflicted with Ch. 9, and I felt extremely stupid for it:

Remember Aya's outburst in Ch. 2? The thing is, I really forgot that before that, Kira and Hisagi were actually there when the outburst happened! They actually met Aya and Reina prior to the fight! And then comes Ch. 9 with the conversation of Kira and Hisagi... Well, just read it and you'll find out.. Anyway, did anybody notice that?

* * *

><p><span>Ch 10: Friendship<span>

I walked around aimlessly in Seiretei after leaving the 3rd squad. Should I go home? Should I eat? Should I train? Then suddenly, my tummy grumbled. Oh yeah, I haven't eaten lunch (I forgot). So, with food in mind, I went to the ramen store where me and… Reina used to hang out.

_Please don't let her be there_, I prayed.

Unfortunately, when I got there, I saw Rangiku-san and Reina. Feeling a little cowardly, I turned around and decided to look for other stores when Rangiku-san's voiced called out to me.

"Aya-chan! What a surprise! Come join us!" I stiffened and turned around just to see do the same. Rangiku-san looked at both of us before flashing a knowing smile and stood up.

"I better go before Hitsugaya-taichou finds out that I skipped work again! Have fun, you two!"

With that, she flash-stepped and left me and Reina alone awkwardly. Before I could decide to stay or not, my tummy growled loudly.

"You know, Rangiku ordered food for you." Reina avoided my eyes and pointed to a bowl of ramen in the table.

Against my better judgment, I decided to sit down slowly and picked up the chopsticks. Not bothering to look at Reina at the moment, I indulged myself to ramen. Faster than you could say "ramen", I was down to my last gulp and finished my meal feeling better and momentarily forgetting that Reina was even there. After thinking about it, I felt embarrassed and once again, that awkward silence fell before us.

Reina broke our silence by saying, "You forgot to eat lunch again, right? Seriously, that is not good for your health."

I stared at her wide-eyed. Since when did she care about my eating habits, or more importantly, how did she know I forgot to eat lunch?

"How did I know, you ask… its because I've always looked out for you, even if you won't believe me. I know we haven't really talked about the past and about _that_ time (Refer to Ch. 2), but no matter what you say, I just want you to know that I was not pretending to be worried and forcing myself to you, because I really was genuinely worried about you. I know you are not a child anymore, but old habits die hard. But I never knew that was how you see me… Smart? Beautiful? Skilled? Everybody loves me? Did you know, its because of you that I really worked hard. I wanted to make-up with you… for the things that I had done in the past. I was really just a child then and hadn't considered your feelings and for that, I'm really sorry… about everything, about you being ignored, bullied and compared to me. That wasn't my intention, believe me. I never wanted to hurt you. You are the only family I have left. I'm sorry you had to listen to me talk about all these crap you don't want to hear, but maybe it's the only time to do so. You wanted me to leave you alone, right? "

With that, Reina slowly got up and left me sitting frozen in my seat and shocked by her words. I can't believe I said all those things to her without even considering her feelings! I may deny it but I really felt that all those times that we spent were genuine. Truthfully, I was really thankful for her, for everything. I guess all those nonsense I spat at her were all products of my insecurity and jealousy. I can't believe how low that was, even for me. My only family left in world was her and I hurt her real bad... and i feel extremely guilty for that.

Part of me wanted to go run to her and apologize, but part of me is scared knowing that I had hurt her and may do so more in the future. I haven't even asked her about the deal with Hiro-kun. What should I do? I feel so ashamed to face her.

Then I remember Yukina-san and Yuni-san. I'm sure they had their fair share in fights, but looking at the first time I ran into them, they looked so happy as best friends. I wonder if I could repair my own relationship and return it the way it was. I wonder if I could turn back the time and take back all those I've said to Reina. Then, would we also experience the kind of friendship Yukina-san and Yuni-san had?

Oh what should I do? If only Kira-san was here, he would encourage me and tell me what do to. Smiling at that thought, I wonder, when have I decided to rely on Kira-san? The confessions, the kisses, our second time... all felt like a dream to me. If he were here, what would he do if he were in my shoes?

That's it! No more thinking! I just have to do it. Reina is important to me and I feel incomplete when my best friend is not here with me.

So finally, after thinking too hard, I gathered that extra mush of courage, much like the time when I decided to take a risk with Kira-san (Refer to Ch. 7), I got up in my seat and went to search for Reina. Its time to take back my best friend!

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	11. Forgiveness

**Ch 11: Forgiveness**

I ran around Seiretei, not caring who I bumbed into._ I have to find Reina_, those were my only thoughts as I desperately tried to find her.

Suddenly, as I turned my head to the side, THERE SHE IS! However, she's with Hisagi-fukutaichou and Kira-san… and wait! It seems that Hisagi-fukutaichou and Reina are hugging each other while Kira-san tried to say something. Oh no! Was Reina crying? I tried to see from afar whether she was really crying, but it looked like I was staring at them instead. They seem to notice me too since they all stared at me too, except Reina who seems to be content in Hisagi-fukutaichou's arm. A pang of guilt came over me and the weight of what I'm about to do seems to sink in. I actually lost my confidence a bit back then, but I saw something in Kira-san's eyes that tell me to do it and thus gave me confidence. So without much further ado, I slowly walked to where they were with my heart beating fast.

As I got closer, Reina finally lifted her head, and yeah, she was crying. To prevent an awkward situation, I went straight to the point. After acknowledging Hisagi-fukutaichou and Kira-san, I turned to Reina and looked straight into her eyes as I said,

"Reina, I was uhm… just looking for you. May I please talk to you? I know I don't deserve it, but please. Give me another chance to hear me out." Reina seems to hesitate, but Hisagi-fukutaichou whispered something to her that made her change her mind.

"Alright, Aya. Let's talk. I'm tired of this too. Can we go somewhere else? I doubt you want to talk in the streets full of people." She tried to smile as she said this. Oh! I didn't even realize that. I got so caught up with what I was going to say, I didn't really think of where I was going to say it. Well, nice job. Anyway, I tried to think up of a place where were we could talk but Reina decided for us.

"How about my place, Aya? We can talk without anyone interrupting. That is, if you have any other place you have in mind."

Well, I don't. I don't have any escape from this either.

"Oh, sure. I'm fine with that." I blurted out without even thinking.

And much of everything that happened after that became a blur. I only remember bits where Hisagi-fukutaichou and Kira-san say goodbye, Kira-san telling me good luck, Reina and me walking in awkward silence towards her house, Reina letting me sit on her couch and offering me tea…

"Aya! Aya!" I jolt awake from my trance by Reina calling my name.

"Y-yes?"

"You were pretty spaced out all of a sudden. You alright?"

"Well, yes. I mean, no. I mean, not really."

Oh man, what is wrong with me? This is not the time to have a mental breakdown.

"Aya, you wanted to talk to me?" Reina said in a much softer voice. And then it all comes crashing down.

"Reina, I'm so sorry.. so sorry that I hurt you. I feel like a jerk! I never knew what you felt. I only thought about myself. I'm really sorry, for all the things that I said. About… what I said about you not caring and all. I just thought that way because of my own insecurities and jealousy. Everybody loves you. But me, I don't know. But even though its how I felt, nothing will change for the fact that the times we shared really made me happy. And I'm very thankful for you, for taking care of me and being my only family left in the world. And although I know its too late to ask for your forgiveness and start over again, I was very happy that I met you. I was very happy that you reached out for me when I was still new in the neighborhood. We might not be friends if you hadn't. And the awful fire, thanks for dragging me, even though I didn't want to… Thanks for not leaving me behind." Tears rolled down my cheeks as I bent down my head, not wanting to see her as I poured out all my thoughts.. pain.. hurt.. repentance..

As I finished my sorry speech, I became worried because Reina might not forgive me at all. But remembering Yukina-san and Yuni-san happy together, it was then that I want to have that kind of friendship with her… one that would last for years to come.

It was then that I felt her hug me with tears soaking on my shoulder.

"Oh Aya. I'm sorry too. It was not entirely your fault. And how could I leave you behind that time? I don't want to lose you too. You were my best friend and my only family, so ofcourse I'll want to take care of you. I know we went through rough times, but I think those things made us realize that despite everything, all we had was each other. I'm so sorry about Hiro. But the truth was.. he raped me. It did seem that we were kinda hitting off that day at the fireworks, but that was all. Nothing more, because I knew you liked him. I would never do anything to hurt you like that. But he said… he said.. that he had something to give me once we were at my room. Naïve as I was, I agreed and before I knew it, he dragged me to my bed and took out all my clothes. I couldn't cry. I knew you were home. So I pretended that it was consensual. The next day, I told you lies about how he chose me over you. But for him, it was just a one-night stand with what he thought was the prettiest girl. But how wrong he was. Aya, you are beautiful too, don't think otherwise. Guys doesn't seem to notice the beauty that you hide, but I see it. And I think Kira-fukutaichou does too."

Everything she said struck me hard. I pushed her at arm's length and looked at her. Unbelievable! That guy, Hiro-kun, raped her?! I never knew. Its like my heart was torn into pieces because all along I thought that she seduced him, not the other way around. All along I thought… Well, sucks to be me. I guess one more reason for Reina not to forgive me.

And what about Kira-san seeing me as beautiful? Now that is really unbelievable to the highest level! I mean, why would he? Just because we did it twice means anything. I always think to myself that it was just for fun. Nothing serious to it…

But yeah, a part of me wished it did. After all that conversation about our feelings… but we were not sure what it is. But that look on Kira-san's face made it seems like he loved me. Okay, what is wrong with me… Its like I love him too. Wait, what? I love him? Oh my gosh, it seems that my world is coming to an end. I guess, our conversation that time really stuck into my head.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	12. Girl Talk

**Ch 12: Girl Talk**

"Oh my! You love him, don't you?"

Oopps. I guess, I said the last part out loud because Reina smiled, no longer crying.

"What? No I don't… I mean, I'm not sure… I mean, how do you know you love someone?" I added softly, blushing as I asked the question.

" Well, you would know because of the way you looked at each other, like there's no one else. And your heart beats fast whenever you're with him, amongst other things. But I guess we girls always wanted to hear the L word to really believe it."

"The L word?"

"Yeah, like they tell you that they love you." Now this was weird, now Reina was blushing too, like she was remembering something. Well, wait a minute.

"Did Hisagi-fukutaichou said that to you?"

"What!? Why are you bringing Shuuhei in the picture?"_ Shuuhei?_ Now that is suspicious.

"Well, because it looked like you were remembering something when you explained to me. And I guess you're relating it to your experience. And the way you are when you are near him kinda explains the situation of falling in love." I smirked as I explained to Reina.

"Oh alright. I guess I can't hide it from you, huh? So I do love him. So what? We were talking about you and Kira-fukutaichou. Not us. Sooo? Did he say it to you?"

Well, did he? He did say he had feelings for me. But what?

"Honestly, I don't know. He said that he had feelings for me. But he never did say. Oh what should I do, Reina? I feel like I don't want to know. I don't want our friendship to change."

"Aya, that friendship will still be there, only... with added bonus. Like you get to see him on a different light. Like you have some part of him that is privately yours for viewing. If you know what I mean." As I realized what she said, I laughed.

"Oh come on, Reina! Is that all there is? I can't believe that you would say that."

"Well, its true! But that's not all there is. But I can't really explain to you what it is unless you experience it yourself. So anyway, your mission is to find out what he feels about you. And after that, everything else follows once the two of you will confess." I looked at her disbelievingly.

"You make it sound so easy, Reina. Its like I believed that he loved me too. But its just me saying all that. He doesn't…"

"Yes he does, you idiot! Admit it! I saw that look on his face when he saw you. If that's not love, then what else is there?"

"But… but Reina, do you really think.."

"Ahh, I'm hungry. Lets go out to eat, Aya. Just the two of us. What do you say?" Reina smiled and winked at me.

"Wait… Does this means we're cool? I mean, you've forgiven me?"

"Sigh… Ofcourse I've forgiven you, you idiot! I love like family. I know there are times we fight, but it will only make us stronger in the end. Let the past be. We've already closed those issues. So, how about that dinner?"

"Oh Reina, I love you like family too! And.. thank you for everything. And yeah, lets eat. My treat!"

"Oooh, the mighty Aya, finally treating me to dinner! Thanks for the food!"

And with that, I finally resolved my issue with Reina. However, it's a different story with Kira-san…

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	13. Reflections and Decision

Hello. Its been a while...a very long while! This is a very short chapter. But I plan to update soon became I too am excited about what would happen to them. I've been putting this off for a very long while. Gomen ne~ :)

* * *

><p><strong>The story thus far:<strong> Kuroyami Aya had just became the 3rd seat of the 3rd division when she had a drunken one-night stand with her captain, Kira Izuru _(See ch 1)_. Old feelings emerged as she let loose her feelings at her best friend, Honjou Reina, a seated officer in the 9th division and the two had not been speaking since then _(See ch 2)_. However, her relationship with Kira-fukutaichou gradually improved as they decided to forget their one-night stand _(See ch 3)_. One day, one of the men in their division got injured and Aya was tasked to bring him to the 4th division where she met the two 3rd seats, Yamamoto Yukina and Amane Yuni where she broke down and tells her past _(See ch 4)_. Aya's relationship with Reina and the lingering feelings she had were revealed through the past _(See ch 5)_. Back to the present, Aya unexpectedly bumped into Reina and Kira-fukutaichou was worried that Aya skipped work _(See ch 6)_. Kira-fukutaichou and Aya had a heart-to-heart talk about their feelings for each other _(see ch 7)_. Hisagi-fukutaichou suddenly visited Kira-fukutaichou _(See ch 8-9)_. Meanwhile, Reina and Aya meet again and this time Reina speaks up about her feelings (_See ch 10). _Finally, Reina and Aya reconciled and had girl-talk about Aya's feelings _(See ch 11-12_).

* * *

><p><strong><span>Ch 13: Reflections and Decision<span>**

A few days passed after all that drama with Reina. We spent our free time together to catch up with the events. However, I haven't talked to Kira-san for a while since both of us were busy and we hadn't have time to meet up. During breaks I was either with Reina or go off alone to rest or eat. Maybe, I wanted to hold off our confrontation now that I have somewhat feelings for him. I don't want to face him yet and he seems to have thought the same. So we deliberately not meet each other… well at least that's what I'm feeling. Anyway, it was also one of these days that that Reina suddenly spilled the beans that both she and Hisagi-fukutaichou somehow got together.

"What?! Really?! I knew it! Since when?!" I hugged Reina as I felt ecstatic for her.

"Well, just a few days after we reconciled. I told him about what happened…and about my past. I thought he would be disgusted with me. But…" At this point, Reina was blushing madly, as if remembering what happened, which I have a pretty good idea too. Anyway, I don't want to think about that.

After some more gossip, Reina and I parted ways after eating dinner. I decided to take a walk to reflect on things, the way my life was turning out and about my relationships. I saw how Reina was practically glowing as she told me more about her fukutaichou. Somehow, it made me jealous. I want to be happy too. Am I allowed such selfishness? However, happiness means…being with the one you love, right? The one I love… Suddenly, Kira-san's face flashed in my mind. My heart starts beating fast. Darn, maybe I do fell in love with him. Now what? _Sigh_. Now that the damage has been done, what should I do? Should I *_gulp_* confess?

Wait, wait, wait a minute! Isn't the guy supposed to be the one who confesses first?! Isn't that what they do in movies? No, that's wrong! First and foremost, the most pressing issue would be… does he love me too? "_Yes he does, you idiot! Admit it! I saw that look on his face when he saw you. If that's not love, then what else is there?"_ Reina's words rang to me and for the slightest moment, I begin to hope. Count on Reina to know what to say in this kind of situation. I smile to myself as I slowly approach my house.

I have decided.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	14. Confession

Hello, updated as promised. I realized that this fanfic seems more like a chick-lit novel but I guess it turned out well...right? Well, on with the story.

* * *

><p><span><strong>Ch 14: Confession<strong>

I have decided. Yes, I did. I decided to take the chance. Well, what's a broken heart compared to a… let me think, a thousand years of regret? At least a broken heart heals, right? _…Yeah, right._ Anyway, its too late to back out now as I face the door to Kira-san's office. He should be here, right? Yeah, why wouldn't he be? Oh my, I'm getting so paranoid over this. _Keep calm, my heart!_ Its just a confession for goodness's sake! It's not like I'll be breaking the news to my parents that I'm pregnant! _Although I wouldn't mind if it's Kira-san's child. _Oh, stop it!

As I mentally argue with myself and my physical body is left standing near Kira-san's door in a gesture of knocking, I suddenly felt nervous and doubtful. _Should I do it?_ But what if…what if he doesn't like me that way? What if Reina just said that at the heat of the moment? No, she wouldn't say things that she didn't mean, right? _Deep breaths, Aya. Deep breaths. _That's it. It's now or never. As my mind wanders on the possibility of running away, my traitorous body finally commanded my hand to knock on Kira-san's door.

_Knock knock._

"Come in." I heard his voice from inside the room.

I slowly opened the door and saw him in his table amidst all the paperwork that he had to do. All of a sudden, I felt guilty of disturbing his work because of my stupid idea of confessing right now. Oh why did I not wait until the evening?! Stupid me. _Sigh_.

"Kira-san, are you busy?" I asked, even though the answer's pretty obvious right now. What's wrong with me? I'm so nervous I can't think straight.

"Oh no. Its fine. Come sit. Is something wrong, Aya-san?" Kira-san gestured to the chair in front of his table and smiled. Smiled, yes he smiled. Not smirked, I tell you! How I wish I could preserve that moment.

Hold on, I'm getting a little crazy with my thoughts here! Seriously, I'm just here to confess and be on my way out. I imagined the scene play out in my mind: me saying that I think I love him, turning crimson-faced, looking at the floor and after a little moment of very awkward silence, I abruptly turn back and march out through the door without waiting for his reply. Not really romantic if you tell me, but I'd rather not be rejected in front of him verbally and would rather assume that he did not return my feelings. That way, it'll lessen the impact of my broken heart.

Not noticing that I was spacing out, Kira-san broke out my train of thoughts.

"Aya-san, are you alright? Are you sick?" I noticed that he placed a hand on my shoulder and being that too close him and looking at his worried eyes did not help me prepare for my confession.

"Ah, yes, I'm fine.. Its just that…" I squirmed under his hand and I heard him softly sign.

"Do you want to go to the 4th division? I'll take you there. Are you hurt?"

He continued to talk to me softly and his hand on my shoulder tightened. I couldn't help by be saddened by this. Why oh why could he be so comforting at a time like this? It makes me not want break this uncomfortable friendship that we have right now.

"Aya-san, you know you could always talk to me, right? I'm right here whenever you need help. That's what friends are for, right?"

Upon hearing the word _friend_, I suddenly burst into tears and stood up.

"No… no… no… I don't want to be just friends! I keep getting mixed feeling from you, Kira-san and I'm tired of constantly trying to figure out what our relationship exactly is. We're not exactly just friends considering that we have been intimate... or do want to forget about that part again? It hurts to think that I'm the only one who has been feeling more of _this_!" I realized I was already panting so much and tears keep streaming down my face. I must have looked hideous but I had to continue. I had to say the most important thing on my mind.

Still looking at Kira-san's shocked expression, I continued. There was no going back.

"So…so… I want to get over this already. It has been plaguing my mind and I want to be the one to end all of this. So all I wanted to say and the reason that I am here is to tell you that I love you, you idiot, more than a friend! At first I was so confused with my feelings because I cared for you more that you'll ever know but I felt a connection with you on that drunken one-night-stand the first time we met. And now that the secret's out, I ruined our friendship of wanting something more. So, I'll be on my way and get out of your path from now on until deemed necessary. So goodbye and I hope that at least our friendship meant something to you."

With those final words, I quickly walked out without looking back.

At least, I got the last part of my plan right.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	15. Moment

**Ch 15: Moment**

I have done it. I finally confessed to Kira-san and now my heart is officially broken! The next day after that fateful encounter, Reina suggested 'eating out to your heart's content' a way of comfort. Thus, here I am, sitting in a restaurant one fine afternoon, skipping paperwork and vigilantly avoiding Kira-san. Reina's with me because she took a day off from work and I would have been very glad for her except that she's been telling me constantly to eat more when my stomach couldn't take it anymore.

"Reina, I'm so full~ I can't eat another ramen!" I whined with my mouth full.

"But, you need to eat! Its to heal your broken heart!" she countered.

I knew she meant well but this is taking it to the extreme. If I'm not so conscious about my body, I wouldn't even eat as I have eaten now.

"Ah! We forgot something important!" Reina suddenly burst out.

"What?"

"Sake! Its sake! It's the most important when healing a broken heart! Waiter, bring us some sake!"

Uh-oh. I hope it wouldn't come to this. I seriously don't want to be drunk right now because I tend to be a little more dramatic and the last time I was drunk… well, look what happened.

"Reina, I don't think I should be drinking sake-"

"Its fine, its only a bit of sake! Its good for you."

Reluctant as I am, I began to drink.

"Fine, just a little, okay?"

Maybe I can't say no to Reina, I just don't want to be on bad terms since we've only just started to get along recently.

So sake it is. Who knows, maybe I'll forget about everything…

…

I woke up with a headache. With my eyes still closed, the first thing I did was smell the surroundings, and began to panic. _This isn't my room – it smelled different, smelled manly. _I tried to move sideways, but a warm breath tickling my neck stopped me. There was somebody here besides me. It was then that I felt a warm hand wrap around my waist tighter. It was then that I decided to open my eyes.

_Déjà vu?_

"Are you awake?"

That voice. No, it can't be.

"Aya-san, are you alright?"

Please, let me sleep again. I don't want to wake up. I don't want to face this.

"Please talk to me."

The voice sounded worried and desperate.

I turned around to the voice behind me.

"I… Kira-san? What…happened?" My voice croaked. Whoa, not good. How much did I drink again?

"You were pretty drunk. Are you alright? You look so red." He touched my forehead to check if I was hot. Little did he know that I am hot, not in the fever kind of way, but because I remember. I remembered everything that happened. What led to this. Of course, Kira-san doesn't know that I remember so its best to feign innocence.

"I'm fine, Kira-san. Thanks for worrying." I tried to smile, but the truth is, I want to cry.

"Hey… I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way. I have no excuses." He looked at me seriously and believe him because his eyes tells me otherwise.

"Its fine… I'll get over this." I try to stiff a laugh and lighten the mood, but no. Its not working. Kira-san seems to be thinking of something and I want to cry over everything that happened so far.

"Please don't cry. I don't know what I'll do." His voice seems weird and he's looking at me differently.

"Its not like you haven't seen me cry or anything, Kira-san. This is nothing. I'm doing good, in fact, I think I should get going because I know I missed so much paperwork yesterday and for that I'm sorry and I will do my best to do-"

"No. Please hear me out first. I'm not angry at you for skipping work. I kinda expected it after what happened. Look, about that…"

Suddenly, Kira-san sat up and dragged me along. With only the sheets separating and covering us, I blushed furiously. What is wrong with me? I have to move on! Move on!

Kira-san searched for my hands and grasped them. I gasped. W-what is happening? Kira-san never holds my hand like this. I look into his face and saw that he was serious.

"Aya-san, I like you too. No, I love you. At first, I was confused about my feelings. We were friends and I didn't want to break apart that relationship. But when you were drunk, you said some things I realized how much I've hurt you. I'm sorry. I know you must be angry with me. But I wanted to tell you that even if we confessed our feelings with each other, we still are friends… and more.."

"But I confessed to you, right? Does that change things?" Did Kira-san really say that he loves me?

"Yes, now, I want to take this chance and face you head-on. Actually, I am the same as you. I want more of this friendship but was afraid to take the next step. But when you confessed, secretly I was so happy that you felt the same as me. I was just a coward and didn't tell you first. So now, its my turn to tell you. Tell you how much you mean to me, that this wasn't just a one-night stand. I want you to be in my arms again. Will you agree to this?"

With his confession, I burst out laughing. What, so both of us were the stupid ones and we've been beating around the bush for too long. Hell, it took us 14 chapters, right, Readers?

"Kira-san, you say it so strangely. Of course I agree, you idiot. What was the point of all our confessions? Isn't it for this?" I squeezed his hands for emphasis and Kira-san blushed.

"Uh, yes. You're right. So does this mean…?" Kira-san was smiling.

"Yes, yes." I smiled back too and looked at him.

"Aya…"

"Kira…"

"No, its Izuru."

And with that, our lips met…. But this time, our feelings were loud and clear.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>


	16. Our Happy Ending

**Ch 16: Our Happy Ending**

_Its already been two months since all that drama. I'm doing good, fine even. After all that has happened, everything's back to normal. I resume my duty as 3__rd__ seat while Kira's still acting as fukutaichou. _

_When both of us came to terms on our relationship, it was pretty awkward at first. There were lots of blushing, holding hands, and awkward silence as we have our regular dates. I always look forward to dates with Izuru 'cause I'm really happy whenever we get together and we can be lovey-dovey all we want *squeals*. I swore off sake for a little while because I want to have my sober moments with Izuru too (you know what I mean)._

_That's not to say that we aren't together at the office. Its just that we still maintain that somewhat professional relationship at the office even though we're more than that. I don't mind this, really. We don't usually broadcast our more-than-friends relationship at the squad though. Even though most of them knew it already. I mean, we do light pecks on the cheeks and hold hands at the minimum, but let's just say, I'd be better to swear off the more intimate gestures at the office lest you want to get caught making out by a certain Soifon-taichou (even though it was clearly off-office hours!). But that is a story for another time._

_ Girl night outs with Reina are also part of my daily life now. Since both of us have boyfriends now, we usually talk about girl stuff that we obviously can't tell our significant other. We give each other advices and tease each other. Sometimes, Rangiku-san would go with us too. She would complain about Hitsugaya-taichou and the work he gives her but deep inside we know that she respects and cares for him._

_ Reina and her Hisagi are doing well too, but not without some rough patches in their way. I am witness to some moments of their rocky relationship like the time when Reina thought Hisagi cheated on her cause she saw some other girl with him that one time or when they got into a pretty serious fight because well, personal issues. I don't usually ask them stuff about that but I'm always there when Reina's feeling down much like she was with me when I was down in the dumps. So yeah, my relationship with her is good and I was glad that we were able to put out all those past behind us and start anew._

_ I don't usually go to the 4__th__ division, but when I do I always say hello to Yuni-san and Yukina-san. After all, I somewhat owe to them an explanation after I told them about my past with Reina. Thankfully, they were glad that Reina and I made up and one time, both of us went together to the 4__th__ division and talked to the two 3__rd__ seats. The four of us talked for a long time about a lot of things and it was nice to hear advices from someone more mature than us. Both of them act like sisters, I observed, and I was hopeful that Reina and I would be the same someday. After our conversation, I was mildly surprised to see Ukitake-taichou and Kyouraku-taichou waiting for Yuni-san and Yukina-san. _

_ Tonight, Izuru and I_

"What are you writing there, Aya?" a voice asked as arms enveloped me from behind.

"Izuru. Nothing much. Just writing." I put the pen brush down and closed my notebook. Izuru looked at me questioningly but I only smiled at him sweetly and stood up and faced him. I looped my arms around his neck and gave him a soft peck on the lips. Yes, we're in that stage of the relationship now. I can confidently do that without blushing so much.

As I pull away though, Izuru caught my head and gave me another kiss, not so innocent this time. I love how he can be assertive when he wants to be. After we broke our kiss and put our foreheads together, he asked, "Are you ready to go out now?" Still feeling tingly from our kiss, I can only nod. We pulled away from each other but not without intertwining our hands. Tonight was just one of our date nights but it feels like the first time everytime.

"Aya, I love you." Izuru whispered lovingly in my ear.

I broke away from my thoughts, looked at my Izuru in the eye and said, "I love you too."

* * *

><p><strong>The End...<strong>


End file.
